causing more problems and difficulties instead of solving them; not achieving what you wanted to achieve but having an opposite effect 事与愿违的；适得其反的；弄巧成拙的 Paying children too much attention when they misbehave can be self-defeating. 孩子有不良行为时，过分关注可能适得其反。 It becomes self-defeating to go on wrangling about tactics. 继续争论战术会弄巧成拙。
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self-defeating adj.
⇨ ineffective
self-defeating
Causing problems and disagreement: difficult, bad, embarrassing...
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